Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Football Quotes: Famous, Funny and Otherwise

Every time you lose you die a little; not all of your organs, a portion of you; maybe just your liver. ~ George Allen, Sr.

Every time you win, you're reborn; when you lose, you die a little. ~ George Allen, Sr. 

The future is now! ~ George Allen, Sr.

When we get to the future, I'll decide the future. ~ George Allen, Sr.

I throw with my arm, not my belly. ~ Sonny Jurgensen

We are winning off the field ~ Redskins GM Bruce Allen after a disastrous 4-12 season

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. ~ Dan Birdwell

I'd run over my own mother to win a Super Bowl. ~ Joe Jacobi, Washington Redskins

I'd run over Joe's mother, too. ~ Matt Millen, Oakland Raiders

If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she were in my way. And I love my mother. ~ Bo Jackson

You guys know how this works. You ask questions and I don't answer them. ~ Mike Shanahan to Washington media reporters

In a land of freedom, we are held hostage by the tyranny of political correctness. ~ Tweet by Robert Griffin III @RGIII

We gotta stop that Buddy ball. Hit everyone you see. Hit that running back. Then run up in the stands and slap their mommas. ~ NY Giants player as quoted on NFL Films

I'm here so that I won't get fined. ~ Marshawn Lynch

Most football teams are temperamental. That's 90% temper and 10% mental. ~ Doug Plank

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best. - Alan Shearer

I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd. ~ Johnny Giles

Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. ~ Vince Lombardi

Winning isn't everything. Men, it's the only thing. ~ Red Sanders

Winning isn't everything, but the will to win is everything. ~ Vince Lombardi

Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything that comes in second. ~ Bear Bryant

It's not the will to win that matters -- everybody has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters. ~ Bear Bryant

Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing. You don't win once in a while, you don't do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. ~ Vince Lombardi

There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game and that is first place. I have finished second twice in my time at Green Bay and I never want to finish second again. ~ Vince Lombardi

If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score? ~ Vince Lombardi

I don’t necessarily have to like my players and associates, but as their leader I have to love them. Love is teamwork. Love respects the dignity of the individual. This is the strength of any organization. ~ Vince Lombardi

When you win, nothing hurts. ~ Joe Namath

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. ~ Vince Lombardi

Success is not forever and failure isn't fatal. ~ Don Shula

When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less. ~ Paul Brown

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be. ~ Jimmy Johnson

There are two things every man in America thinks he can do: work a grill and coach football. ~ Greg Schiano 

You're never guaranteed about next year. People ask what you think of next season, you have to seize the opportunities when they are in front of you. ~ Brett Favre

Sure the home field is an advantage -- but so is having a lot of talent. ~ Dan Marino

Fellas, hey fellas, this is why you lift all them weights. This is why you do all that sh^t. ~ Bill Parcells

A successful coach needs a patient wife, loyal dog and a great quarterback, not necessarily in that order. ~ Bud Grant 

Games like this are why I play football. ~ Billy Kilmer just before a Redskins-Cowboys game

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable. ~ Tom Landry

You are what your record says you are. ~ Bill Parcells

You are only as good as your last play. ~ NFL cliche. (Shouldn't this be "as good as your next play?")

Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. ~ John Wooden. Not a football guy, but it fits.

I'm bored, I'm broke and I'm back. ~ John Riggins returning to football after a one year hold-out

Lighten up, Sandy baby. ~ John Riggins said to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend any amount of time with a Cowboys fan. ~ John Riggins

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~ George F. Will

Only in football is long-term injury the result not of accidents but of the game played properly. ~ George F. Will

Baseball is what we were; football is what we have become.- Mary McGrory, Washington Post

Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potenial. ~ Bud Wilkinson

"If you believe, then unbelievable things can sometimes be possible." ~Tim Tebow. 

Beating 'SC isn't a matter of life and death. It's more important than that. ~ Red Sanders on the UCLA-USC rivalry

I learned that if you want to make it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it. ~ Gale Sayers

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em one by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him I keep. ~ "Big Daddy" Lipscomb

Football is very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys. ~ Oscar Wilde

When in doubt, punt! ~ John Heisman

Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. ~ John Heisman

I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that. ~ Jerry Rice

I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory ... lasts forever. ~ Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), in the movie The Replacements (2000)

Chil', please. ~ Chad (Ochocinco) Johnson

I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test. I failed a drug test because I was ready to quit football. ~ Ricky Williams

I don't want to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I want to win enough to warrant investigation. ~ Bob Devaney

If you ain’t holding, you ain’t trying. ~ Lyle Alzado

Throw me the damn ball. ~ Keyshawn Johnson

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. ~ Joe Theismann

I don't care about three years ago -- I don't care about two years ago. I don't care about last year. The only thing I care about is this week. ~ Tom Brady

You don't like to see your guys take the field without you because it makes you feel like, man, maybe they really don't need me out there, which is kind of humbling. ~ Tom Brady 

There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." ~ Roger Staubach

The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer. ~ John Madden

The street to obscurity is paved with athletes who can perform great feats before friendly crowds. ~ George Allen, Sr.

No back in the history of football was ever worth two fumbles a game. ~ Woody Hayes. 

Maybe a good rule in life is never become too important to do your own laundry. ~ Barry Sanders

If this team doesn't put more points on the board, I don't see how they can win. ~ John Madden

The Dallas Cowboys have two types of plays in their playbook, passing plays, and running plays. ~ John Madden

You can only make one play at a time. ~ John Madden

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. ~ Archie Griffen

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors. ~ Frank Gifford

Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. ~ Duffy Daugherty

A tie is like kissing your sister. ~~ Duffy Daugherty

That's old man football, bro'. ~ Missouri DT Sheldon Richardson speaking of the Georgia Bulldog offense

Dance with the one who brought you. ~ Darrell Royal

Three things can happen when you pass and two of them are bad. ~ Darrell Royal in published quotes. Royal attributed the quote to Woody Hayes.

I don't like nice people. I like tough, honest people. ~ Woody Hayes

When I look in the mirror in the morning, I want to take a swing at me. ~ Woody Hayes

Those who stay will be Champions. ~ Bo Schembechler

The team, the team, the team. ~ Bo Schembechler

Early is on time and on time is late. ~ Bo Schembechler (and every other football coach who ever lived)

I figures this was the easy stuff and if we couldn't show up on time, looking right and acting right, we weren't going to be able to do anything else. ~ Bo Schembechler

I find that prayers work best when you have big players. ~ Knute Rockne

One loss is good for the soul. Too many losses is not good for the coach. ~ Knute Rockne

Win one for the Gipper. ~ Knute Rockne

We came here with an idea that we would have to weather the storm or be the storm. ~ Mark Dantonio

November is for contenders. ~ Mark Dantonio

I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important - like a league game or something. ~ Dick Butkus

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggression without going to jail for it. ~ Heywood Hale Broun

I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. ~ David Morecambe

I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL. ~ Steve Henderson

I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault. ~~Jack Tatum

I believe the game is designed to reward the ones who hit the hardest. If you can't take it, you shouldn't play. ~ Jack Lambert

They're killing me, Whitey. They're killing me. ~ Lou Saban, referring to officials, as captured by NFL Films

This is the NFL. You know what that means? "Not For Long" if you keep making lousy calls like that one. ~ Jerry Glanville comment to an official, captured by NFL Films

Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time. ~ Arnold Mandell

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party. ~ Sue Lawley

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. ~ Terry Bradshaw

He couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him the "c" and the "t." ~ Hollywood Henderson speaking of Terry Bradshaw

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~~ Elbert Hubbard

George Halas throws nickels around like manhole covers. ~ Mike Ditka

He treats us all the same—like dogs. ~ Green Bay Tackle Henry Jordan, describing Coach Vince Lombardi. 

Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated. ~ Lou Holtz

If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him. ~ Lou Holtz

If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today. ~ Lou Holtz

You'll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him. ~ Lou Holtz

He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings. ~ Torrin Polk, on his coach, John Jenkins

Lombardi, Shula, Landry and Gibbs were innovators. Bill Walsh was a visionary . . . . ~ Michael Wilbon

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. ~ Erma Bombeck

The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. ~ Phyllis Diller

If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same. ~ Bob Golic

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ~~ George Raveling

Football is easy if you are crazy as hell. ~ Bo Jackson

I've been big ever since I was little. ~ William "The Refrigerator" Perry

There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they're both a pain in the ass. ~ Dan Devine, former Notre Dame football coach

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo. ~ Tony Kornheiser

Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man. No back can run faster than his interference. ~ Jock Sutherland

Just remember the words of Patrick Henry, kill me or let me live. ~ Bill Peterson

We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now. ~ Bruce Coslet

Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? ~ Jim Mora at his famous meltdown.

Seventy-five percent of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Fred Smoot. ~ Fred Smoot

Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States. ~ Lee Corso

I'm really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who have been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors. ~ Bob Hoying, Ohio State Buckeyes quarterback after winning the Big Ten title

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots. ~ Randy Cross

I feel like I'm the best, but you are not going to get me to say that. ~ Jerry Rice

Look up, get up, but don't ever give up. ~ Michael Irvin to his sons at his Hall of Fame induction

When I read about the evils of smoking crack, I gave up reading. ~ Michael Irvin

I can attack a man's weakness and beat him. Or I can attack a man's strengths and break him. ~ Michael Irvin

The past doesn't buy you much. ~ Joe Gibbs upon his return to coaching

Failures are expected by losers, ignored by winners. ~ Joe Gibbs

A successful coach needs patient wife, a loyal dog and a great quarterback, not necessarily in that order. ~ Bud Grant

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first. ~ George Rogers

I only have two things going for me: my arms, my legs and my brain. ~ Michael Vick (allegedly)

You only get one shot at a second chance. ~ Michael Vick

Football doesn't build character. It reveals character. ~ Marv Levy

Football is an honest game. It's true to life. It's a game about sharing. It's a team game. So is life. ~ Joe Namath

To be a leader, you have to make people want to follow you and nobody wants to follow someone who doesn't know where he's going. ~ Joe Namath

I Can't Wait Until Tomorrow ...'cause I Get Better-Looking Every Day ~ Book title by Joe Namath with Dick Shaap

I don't like to date as I just like to kind of, you know, run into somethin', man. ~ Joe Namath

As a football coach, everything in life comes after your football schedule. I just could not make that commitment. ~ Joe Namath 

When success finds you, it's because you were looking for it. ~ Larry Fitzgerald

One bromide I've always disagreed with is that sports ... say, football ... can build character. I don't think any sport builds character. A sport reveals character. It takes a lot more than a game to shape someone's character ... but a game provides an environment in which the good qualities in a person's character can respond. 

Usually shortened to "Football doesn't build character, it reveals it." ~ Marv Levy

O.J. Simpson, shorn of the magic he once possessed, is am emblem of the fact that the star athlete doesn't possess the magic, the fans give it to him. The fan giveth, and the fan taketh away. ~~ Neely Tucker, Washington Post 

Football today is far too much a sport for the few who can play it well; the rest of us, and too many of our children, get our exercise from from climbing up the seats in the stadiums, or from walking across the room to turn on our television sets. ~ John F. Kennedy

I'm a big football fan, but I have to tell you if I had a son, I'd have to think long and hard before I let him play football. ~ Barack Obama

I wouldn't. And my whole life was football. I think the risk is worse than the reward. ~ Mike Ditka when asked if he would let his son play football

I had offers from the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football, the name Jerry Ford might be a household word today. ~ Gerald R. Ford

Never take a day off, plan for the future, and opportunities are never lost—someone else always takes them. ~ Lawrence Tynes

The thing that separates guys in the NFL is work ethic. Everyone is talented and everyone is good, but the guys who work the hardest are the ones who stick around the longest. ~ Lawrence Tynes

All I know most surely about morality and obligations I owe to football. ~ Albert Camus

I am delighted to have you play football. I believe in rough, manly sports. But I do not believe in them if they degenerate into the sole end of any one's existence. Athletic proficiency is a mighty good servant, and like so many other good servants, a mighty bad master. ~ Theodore Roosevelt in letters to his children

Many of the above quotes were found on and The rest were harvested over time as I came across them.

You can't make this stuff up. They just write themselves.


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