Make English The Official Language Of The Super Bowl, 2011 Edition

Planto English persona lingua of Eximius Scaphium.

That’s Latin for “Make English the official language of the Super Bowl.” This is Hog Heaven's/Running Redskins' annual plea to bring some good, old fashioned American values to the American game by banning an even more old fashioned value from the Super Bowl.  

Roman numerals are the reason Latin is a dead language. Those old Romans needed four or more characters to express what we say with two or three. Just try to calculate the XI percent sales tax on a Super Bowl ticket (MMV Talents). No wonder the Barbarians sacked Rome.

They don’t even use Latin in Italy anymore.

I speak as a Catholic former altar boy of the old Latin Rite who flunked freshman Latin in high school. It was traumatic; an anchor on my grade point average that mocks me still. Hated it!

Super Bowl Ex-El-Vee? Can’t we just say Super Bowl 45? Or Super Bowl 2011? Or anything that makes sense?

Roman numerals haven’t made sense since the fall of the empire, much less since Super Bowl III. Does the NFL record scores in Roman Numerals? NO! NFL.com can’t fit “Saints XXXI, Colts XVII” in those little boxes in the box score.

And don’t even ask about stats. Did you know that in Super Bowl Ex-El-Eye-Vee Drew Brees was XXXII of XXXIX for CCLXXXVIII yards and II touchdowns?

Did EA Sports, who shapes so much of our modern view of football, introduce Madden XI? NO! They did Madden 11. You can’t sell Madden Ex-Eye to anybody. Surely, the NFL is as market savvy as EA Sports. Surely they can make their showcase game easier to understand than the CBA. If not, they should just cancel next season.

Oh. Wait....

This is America. We are Americans. We follow American football. Our numbering system is Arabic, but that's not the point. Can we express the American title of the American football championship in numbers Americans can read? Can we do it sometime before Super Bowl L?

In the Age of Madden, planto English persona lingua of Eximius Scaphium.

Washington will close the season as Giant-Killers

By every measure of logic, the New York Giants should have their way with the Washington Redskins when the teams meet Sunday at FedEx field. But there's a fly in the ointment. The mindsets of these two teams are moving in opposite directions since their Week 13 meeting. Back then, the Redskins were in continuous shock by Shananigans and the Giants were flying high at 8-4. New York's future was in their hands.

Both New York and Washington have gone 1-3 since then. Now, the Giants are in shock and the Redskins stabilized with holes plugged by hungry young guys playing for the chance of a lifetime.

Last week, the Jaguars, without RB Maurice Jones-Drew, were seven point favorites over the Redskins and lost. Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw are disgustingly healthy for the Giants, yet New York is only 4 point favorites over a six-win team they beat eight of the last nine times they've played. The gambling sharps have figured out that the Redskins are going to give you a game with the outcome in doubt until late fourth quarter. The Giants perhaps are not sure of their post-season even if they win. They could be one-and-done even if they make the postseason.

Washington still has to show that it can stop elite runners. Anthony Bryant has shown himself to be a capable nose tackle. December is a tad late for DC Jim Haslett to discover that. OLB Brian Orakpo's probable return helps, although DE Adam Carriker and ILB London Fletcher have bigger roles in run defense. If I were New York OC Kevin Gilbride, I would pound the ball at Washington and not allow QB Eli Manning to throw more than 10 times.

The Redskins offense is all about Rex Grossman. Washington's receivers do seem to find openings in Kyle Shanahan's offense. Head Coach Mike Shanahan is testing the trade-off of Donovan McNabb's mobility against Grossman's better reads and slightly better accuracy to extend drives. Grossman turns the ball over more than McNabb, with more of those turnovers turning into points for the other guys.

Grossman has one good game and one so-so game in his audition as starter. His tie-breaker is Sunday. He has no interest in handing the ball off to a rusher. He wants to throw and Shanahan wants him to throw. The risk for Washington is that they don't allow the rushers much more than 10 attempts against the Giants.

It's odd, but the Redskins have more incentive to win than the Giants. I say the Redskins will win this game by three. My Magic 8-Ball disagrees ("My sources say No.")

The Redskins Defense Of Your Fantasy Dreams

Repeat after me: The NFL's lowest ranked defense does not mean the NFL's worst defense. The Washington Redskins defense is suddenly the hot fantasy football play.

The Redskins are the fifth-best fantasy defense according to ESPN.com's fantasy scoring rank. Washington's D has 71 fantasy points after seven weeks. Washington was the second-best fantasy defense for week seven, thanks toDeAngelo Hall's heroics in Chicago. The Redskins scored 23 fantasy points, trailing the top ranked Cleveland Browns by a single point.

Only Chris Cooley approaches that achievement for the offense. Cooley is the seventh best scoring tight end on ESPN's fantasy ranking.

Read the rest of this story at Redskins Hog Heaven....

Root For Dallas?

I've never been able to watch more than 15 minutes of the movie Napoleon Dynamite so I never got as far as the Vote for Pedro scenes in the movie. Napoleon Dynamite has some sort of cult following and those who enjoy it strike me as odd.

The Dallas Cowboys have some sort of cult following and fans of the team strike me as, um, heathen savages. It's so odd that I will be cheering for the Cowboys (1-4) against the New York Giants (4-2) tonight.

The Redskins intercepted their way in Chicago to a 4-3 record. If the Giants lose to the Cowboys, the Beast will be knotted in a three-way tie for first place, with the 'Boys a game and a-half behind.

The Giants are playing as if they are serious about winning the conference. They sacked Jay Cutler nine times in the first half of the Chicago game, a 17-3 win, but have yet to face a Beast team.

The Giants are ranked seventh in the Bloguin.com NFL Week 6 Power Poll. The talented but inept Cowboys are ranked 26th in the same poll.

In the idealized world of sports competition, the better teams win out. The Redskins need work, so any back door help is appreciated. I don't want the 'Skins to chase the Giants before they face them on December 5. New York plays Dallas twice and Philadelphia once before then.

Washington already has wins against Dallas and Philadelphia. A division loss by New York helps the cause. It won't hurt the Eagles or Cowboys, either. The best chance for a Giants division loss is tonight in Dallas, or November 21 at The Linc in Philly.

So just for tonight, I'm for Dallas even though it will feel as odd as watching Napoleon Dynamite. I'm going to do it alone, in the dark, very quietly with beer.

If the Cowboys win, I'll vote for Pedro. I promise.

Washington Less Sloppy Than Chicago, Beat Bears 17-14

Every win is a good win, even the ugly ones. The Washington Redskins 17-14, um, beatdown of the Chicago Bears is as butt-ugly good as any win we'll see this season. The worst that can be said is that neither team played well enough to win a playoff game.

Lets save those thoughts for another post.

The thinking around here is that the defense is the stronger part of the team and that the defense would carry the offense until McNabb and company jells. Thus, Washington's last placed defense through six games is asked to cover for a top-ten offense.

If you are a regular reader of Redskins Hog Heaven, you know that last place defense doesn't mean the worst defense. The NFL ranks teams by yards. Yardage doesn't tell you enough about a team.

The Redskins had the 10th best defense in yards last season, yet they were hardly the 10th best defense. Washington snagged 11 interceptions in 16 games, scored no defensive points, and finished with 12 losses in 2009.

This year, the 'Skins have eight interceptions in seven games, five by DeAngelo Hall, four of those Sunday against the Bears. Washington has scored defensive touchdowns on an interception return and a fumble recovery, both by Hall.

So stop the hand wringing about last place in yardage and bask in the disruption of opponent's scoring drives. With that, I tip my hat to Hall. At last, his performance is worth the money.

To read the rest of this story, go to Redskins Hog Heaven....