Saturday, August 19, 2006

Why fantasy football is better than sex

With fantasy football, you don’t wake up in the morning after a hard night of drinking, look over and shout "My God! What have I done?"

You don’t need Viagra to play Fantasy Football once you reach fifty years of age.

You don’t get to draft Terrell Owens in the second round during sex.

In fantasy football you can score many times in one afternoon. With sex you score once and sleep the rest of the day.

In fantasy football you can have as many teams as you like. Try that with partners and sex.

It’s not often you get to talk trash to your buddy after a great night of sex. Fantasy football demands that trash be talked early and often.

With fantasy football, you can trade an under-performer for a $2 transaction fee. It costs MUCH more to dump your spouse.

In fantasy football, you hope to score with Mike Anderson and Tony Banks. With sex, you have no chance to score with Pam Anderson or Tyra Banks.

With fantasy football, you can express manly interest in guys who are tight ends.

On the other hand, penetrating defenses, finding the slot and going long are MUCH more fun in sex than in football.

Some of the above was borrowed from an article by Chris Smith published on in 2001.

A college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach said, "You're such a big guy--why did you marry such a petite woman? She's no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman, "but she's much better!" From

The thrill that comes from winning a (soccer) World Cup bet causes the heart to beat at an average rate of 120 beats per minute. According to the American Heart Association, during orgasm your heart rate ranges from 90 to 145 beats per minute, with an average of 115 beats per minute. From


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